Soulless Food

Awesome recipes written with AI

The Trapped Smurf

There’s this weird thing that happens when you’re married. Especially when you’ve been together a while. You stop talking to each other. I have no idea why. Maybe it’s because we’re used to each other? Or because we have so many other things going on or whatever. Whatever it is, it’s not good.

So I want to do something about it. I want to start talking to my husband again. I want to hear more about his day. I want to know why he’s upset, or confused, or if he’s even okay. I want to stay up late and talk about what we’re watching on TV. I want to share funny stories. I want to say “I love you” more. I want to connect with him again.

And what better way to start back up again, than a funny story shared over a meal? Here’s a funny story about my husband and one of our dogs, Rupert from our past.

So, Rupert wasn’t a big fan of my husband. In fact, Rupert was not a fan of anyone. He only liked me. He was a good dog, but he just wasn’t a fan of people. Except for me. Rupert was a chihuahua, so he was pretty small, but he had a huge personality. And he was quite the escape artist.

So one day, my husband comes home from work and heads into the kitchen to get some lunch. While eating his sandwich, he hears a strange noise coming from the laundry room. Since it’s the middle of the day, he’s surprised to see Rupert, who’s usually in his cage, eating his dog food. Rupert sees my husband and runs frantically back into the laundry room. We’re assuming it’s because he must’ve heard he wasn’t on Rupert’s good side.

So my husband is alarmed, but he takes his sandwich to the living room to eat. He keeps listening to the noise coming from the laundry room. A few minutes later, he hears the noise again, and Rupert comes running out of the laundry room, looking for a place to hide. My husband is a little concerned and follows the dog into the laundry room. That’s when he sees Rupert, backed up between the washer and dryer.


  • 1/2 cup (1 stick) unsalted butter, softened
  • 1 cup (200 g) granulated sugar
  • 1/2 cup (100 g) packed light brown sugar
  • 1 large egg
  • 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
  • 1 1/2 cups (190 g) all-purpose flour
  • 1 teaspoon baking powder
  • 1/2 teaspoon salt
  • 1/2 cup (120 ml) milk
  • 1/2 cup (120 ml) blueberry pie filling
  • 1/4 cup (60 ml) blueberry preserves
  • 1/4 cup (60 ml) lemon juice
  • 1/4 cup (60 ml) heavy cream
  • 1/4 cup (60 ml) milk
  • 1/4 cup (60 ml) sugar
  • 1/4 cup (60 ml) butter
  • 1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
  • 1/2 cup (60 g) powdered sugar


  1. Preheat oven to 350°F (180°C).
  2. In a large bowl, cream together the butter, granulated sugar, brown sugar, egg, and vanilla extract until light and fluffy.
  3. Add the flour, baking powder, and salt and mix until well combined.
  4. Add the milk and mix until well combined.
  5. Pour the batter into a greased 9x13-inch baking pan.
  6. In a medium bowl, stir together the blueberry pie filling, preserves, lemon juice, heavy cream, milk, sugar, and vanilla extract until well combined.
  7. Pour the blueberry mixture over the batter.
  8. Bake for 30-35 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted in the center comes out clean.
  9. Cool completely before cutting into squares.
  10. In a small bowl, stir together the powdered sugar and 1/4 cup (60 ml) of milk until smooth. Drizzle over the bars.
  11. Store in an airtight container in the refrigerator.